Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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