im holly from the hills drunk
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
