The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
