Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
