I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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