Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
