when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Success! We fucked roommates!
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