p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
