i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
