spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize