My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
