Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
