Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
