Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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