tell your sister to shave her snatch
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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