he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
