I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
