I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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