piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
