What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
please come you make the beer taste better
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
