my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
