what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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