I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I puked a lego.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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