Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
