sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
