He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
soo... how was my night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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