my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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