She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
