my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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