He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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