He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We have started to decorate penises.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
