how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
