I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
