A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize