I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
