Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
