In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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