Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
