dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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