guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
