I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sobbing to NWA
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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