LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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