there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I would fuck him just for his dog
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
