chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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