At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
