let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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