me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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