Me too!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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