I'm lost and stupid without you.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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