I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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