So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
