he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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