wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
