is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
