I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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