dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
