I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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