You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
